I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We don't watch enough power rangers
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
