I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize