I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
