He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
