There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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