Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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