I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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