guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You took a bar mat shot.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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