i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
