Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
