yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
