I wish I could teleport
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
