Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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