Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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