that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
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Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
This is classic penis vs brain.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
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How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize