people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize