FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
