she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
