Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize