We got so high we made milksteak
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize