The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
