the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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