please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
