He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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