My liver just broke up with me...
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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