I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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