I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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