Say something about gay babies.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
