he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
