do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
