You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
