If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize