it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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