You can't motorboat a personality
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
