omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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