I hope mine doesn't look like that
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
