if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
