we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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