Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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