hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
