He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
