Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
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