no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
