This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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