He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
