laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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