in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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