Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
