he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
