the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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