Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
