we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
