my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize