planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
