My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
