The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
