we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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