Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
