He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
