so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
