found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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